Sunday, April 1, 2012

Anger Vs. Frustration ( I'm not angry but I'm getting there..)


This is a topic I've been meaning to pick apart for a little while. It fascinates me that I have such a narrow definition of what anger is when I'm feeling it, and so many other peoples definition seems much broader.

There are many cousins to it that I feel often... and apparently those come across as anger to many people in my immediate firing range.
Irritation, Aggravation, and most often Frustration seem to fall into the broader category of  "Anger" for most of the people in my life. For me, they fall under the umbrella of  "Upset" but each have distinct differences.

I love accuracy, and precise definition. Frustration and Anger are not at all the same thing in my world.. and Lord help the man ( or woman) who tells me that I'm angry when I am, in fact, not.
If there is anything that will get me Angry in a hot second , it would be someone else telling me how I'm feeling. I'm a relatively self aware person 90% of the time, and I know when I'm angry, and when I'm not.

Its almost like a comical self fulfilling prophecy ( or in this case, self fulfilling accusation) because once someone tells me that I need to stop acting or being so angry about something.. there's about a 30 second length of time where you can fix it before I get angry and all Hell breaks loose.

So, What do you think? Is there a definite distinction between Anger and the other emotions that fall under that umbrella of "upset"? Or is Angry in the eye of the beholder?


  1. Yeah, anger is very different to frustration. Anger seems to be directed at people whereas frustration for me has been more toward things or myself!

    This is me, Duncan D. Horne, visiting you from the A-Z challenge, wishing you all the best throughout April and beyond.

    Duncan In Kuantan

  2. There is a fine line but in the end only the angry person knows if they are frustrated!

  3. We have a rule in my house: "I will tell you when I am angry" because unless I say I am angry, I'm not. I may be very upset but you can still discuss things with me. You have time. When I am angry - bad things. happen.

    Looking forward to your post for the letter B

    1. This sound very much like me... but sadly.. even after knowing me to 17 years my darling husband still makes the mistake of telling me I'm angry. and then bad things happen. ;)

  4. Hello, Fellow Challenger, from #424-Rockin' Chair Reflections! I know what you mean. Good starting post.

  5. Most definitely. For me, frustration is mostly something I feel with myself while anger is something I feel towards others. I don't angry very often, but I do feel frustrated. I think I can handle anger much better and easier than frustration. Good topic!

    It's nice to meet you. I'm a new follower via the A to Z.

  6. In my world, anger usually comes with a "if I don't leave now, I'll punch you in the face" disclaimer whereas Upset more makes me want to break out the Ben & Jerry's.

    M.J. Fifield
    My Pet Blog

  7. "If there is anything that will get me Angry in a hot second , it would be someone else telling me how I'm feeling" - that is the absolutely classic line! For me, anger is in the eye of the beholder (rather like beauty - yes i do love a cliche) so i may get very frustrated but i try and avoid letting myself get angry. My anger never solves anything.

  8. Hi Arie. That is a gorgeous tattoo you're sporting in your Facebook pic. I have one a little higher (upper back) that says "prototype" in a futuristic font.

    Honestly, I don't think there is much difference between anger and frustration, nor do I think there is a significant difference between upset and anger. They are all manifestations of ego in my opinion - an inner temper tantrum. Of course none of that helps me when I'm in the midst of an ego attack. Upset, irritation, frustration will all come when they want, and leave when they're good and ready.

  9. I totally hear you about being told I'm angry...I hate when people tell me I'm grouchy or I don't look well. Drives me nuts!

  10. Anger is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And I agree that no one should tell someone how they are feeling because it's flat out impossible for anyone to really KNOW how you feel. They may understand if they've gone through similar situations, but when all is said and done, your feelings and experiences are 100% unique to you.

    I think anger is a term used loosely. Maybe for lack of a better word? Who knows.

    Love the post! I'll be back!

  11. Great post! New follower here. I’m enjoying reading my fellow “A to Z”ers. I look forward to visiting again.


  12. Hi wyldstatic - I feel your "anger" over being told to check "angry" feelings when, in fact, they are a completely different emotion. It makes me really angry when this happens to me and I am very quick to point out the difference to the "helpful" moron who is creating a whole new monster..."the angry bitch"...and when she comes out to's not pretty!

    Great post...totally related! Same page, same book!

    Jenny @ Pearson Report
    Co-Host of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.